Have you listened to the Brene Brown talk on candle blowers? If not, check it out here.. https://www.facebook.com/notesfromhomecandles/videos/514944050090148/
Are you surrounding yourself with people who when your light is shining bright think ‘wow, what a beautiful light"?
This is an important question I have been pondering a lot lately. I want to raise my little ones to be the type of people that know there is plenty for room for everyone’s success, happiness and joy. If you see a friend or loved one doing something really cool- get pumped for them, support them, be happy for them. Your loved ones light shining, doesn’t mean your light can’t shine too!
Twenty eight years later I still have a vivid memory of being away at 6th grade science camp. It was my birthday the second day of camp. All 300 six graders were in the food hall having lunch when they started singing me "Happy Birthday". I couldn't believe they knew it was my birthday! I was so excited, until my camp counselor came and whispered in my ear "oh you think you are so special, well you're not". I was crushed and shocked. As an adult I now realize her saying that to me had everything to do with her insecurities and nothing to do with me, but as a kid it really stuck with me. Such a tiny event made a big impact on me for years.
Over the years I have had many other moments when someone tried to tear me down to make themselves feel better. I am sure you have also had times in your life where someone tried to dim your light, maybe it was even a close friend or loved one. What if we all tried harder to lift each other up? What if we were the person that helped someone believe in themselves? How cool would that be!
I hope you know you do not need to dim your light to make others more comfortable. Let's weed out the candle blowers and shit talkers. Let's make room in our lives for truly supportive relationships.
If we make the assumption that letting someone else’s light shine brightly means we can’t shine brightly too then it’s easy to become a candle blower outer.
I will leave you with one of my favorite passages from Marianne Williamson..
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.